Finding God Through Trials and Grace
Diane Dikes found comfort and support through the Stephen Ministry at our church. Gratefully sharing her story, she hopes to inspire others to discover the blessings of this ministry and its impact on their healing journey.
My first impression of God was that of being unreachable and unforgiving. I was in Catholic school at the time, maybe in 2nd or 4th grade. My most vivid memory was of Mary Magdalene threatened with stoning, and Jesus telling the men “Let anyone without sin throw the first stone.” They turned and walked away. Jesus saved and forgave Mary that day.
I remember thinking at 13 that God had no time for me. I had sinned so much in my life that He would never forgive me. It took at least 20 years for me to find God. I ran away from Him and my family every chance I got. My parents divorced in my teen years, making it easier for me to do things that kept me away from my family and God.
I didn’t realize then that if I had embraced God, my family and I could have reconciled, I could have repented, and I would have been redeemed to the Lord. All things would have been made right with Him. But I had to walk another kind of life to learn the lesson.
At 33, I found Alcoholics Anonymous. It saved my life and sanity and opened the door that led me to God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit, getting to know Him and the Trinity like I had never known before. It saved my marriage and my relationship with my children. The way I worked the program was to do all the things that AA suggested, and it worked. I have been getting closer to the Lord since that time. It’s amazing how everything in my life that I had taken from myself through sin and distance from Him, He gave back to me tenfold. I had a good life with my family, enjoying all the things a family does together. It was a first for me, and it was all because of God and His Grace.
In 1995, my youngest son started going to Sunset Canyon Baptist Church with a friend his senior year in high school. I had a good friend who also kept telling me about this wonderful church. So I decided to will try it. I did, and I have not looked back. The women’s group there was so inviting and loving I had to go back for more.
One Sunday, the Holy Spirit took me gently by the shoulders and led me to the Pastor during service so I could declare publicly that I wanted to dedicate my life to my King and Savior. This was in November of 1995, and I was baptized on February 11, 1996.
On October 26, 2004, my whole world changed. My sweet daughter Julie, at 37 years old, was in a tragic motorcycle accident with her husband Tom. They were close to their home where they shared life with their three children in Harpers Ferry, WV. She passed away on November 4th. I have never known such pain. She was a Jesus Christ-believing, God-fearing young woman and was raising her children in the church.
I stayed for a couple of months to help the children adjust without her. I felt her presence everywhere in her home. When I wasn’t working from her home, I was at her church during the day, praying, reading the Word, and visiting her Pastor Joanne and other church members who knew my Julie well. It hit me deeply one day while I was there that I had to believe in the Word of God 100% or not at all! And that I was going to ‘jump in’ all the way into my faith with all I had—it would save my life, and I knew it. I was choosing life and not death. For my daughter and myself, I could not become bitter. I found GriefShare when I came home to Texas. It too has helped save me. God places so many people in our lives to save us.
I have to mention my sweet granddaughter Jessica Diane also passed away, about to the day, seven years after my Julie. She was my daughter’s firstborn, my namesake.
I don’t know what I’m going to be doing in five years, but I try to take it one day at a time. I am in the daily discipline of trying to know my God better, to know who He really is, and why He has done all the things He has done. And He shows us in His Word exactly who He is and what and how He wants us to live. I believe when I read the Word daily, it is deposited in different little pockets of my brain, heart, and soul. I believe that it is used when I least expect it. It is like little holding tanks that the Holy Spirit helps me retrieve whenever I need to.
I’d also like to share about the Stephens Ministry I found at the Methodist Church through GriefShare. At this time, I was grieving the death of my baby brother, who left this world by a gunshot to the neck. It left him paralyzed from the neck down on February 3, 2021. They took him off of life support, and he gradually slipped away. He and I were the last ones of our family and very close.
As I attended GriefShare one Sunday, there was a special mention of the Stephens Ministry available for any of us attending. It was explained that we would be matched up with an appropriate Stephen Minister with whom we could speak and share one-on-one. This appealed to me as I felt like I had so much I wanted to share and didn’t want to take up the GriefShare time, so I asked to become part of it. They matched me up with a woman my age and an openness that I felt the first time we met. I met with her for a few years. She listened and heard everything! She was amazing, and I feel blessed to have gotten to know her, and now we are friends. I believe that our conversations were surrounded by the Holy Spirit. She has been with me through a lot of my life the last few years. I know God put her in my life for this very sad time and for the joy in my life as well. That kind of friendship was what was missing for me, and Stephen Ministry brought it into my life. I would recommend GriefShare and Stephens Ministry to everyone going through those very difficult times in their life.
Each time I’ve had a loss, I know the Lord is saying “Look at me. You will see them again, so just look at me. You are still in this world for a reason. Keep looking at me, Diane.”
Sincerely blessed and be blessed.
-Diane
